Miss Nothing [Max]

[harlow young]

Harlow was seated indian style on her bed, her arms resting on her legs as a book laid in front of her. Eyes scanned the page as she tried to memorize the words on the old rusty paper. The book belonged to her deceased sister, Jade. The one she had looked up too, the one that supported her and the thought of her with Sapphire in their last moments bothered the sixteen year old dearly. The female could remember the day that she had found out about them, about what happened and she was broken hearted. Ever since the accident, she had kept herself at a same distance from people. She rarely uttered a word to those around her unless she’s asked a question by a professor or classmate or even her teammates.

It’s been two years, and the book was something she held dear to her heart. Her father had given it to her a month after the twins were taken from them. Recently she had lost her best friend because she confessed her feelings, only for the girl to ignore her and went for a different crowd. If her sister was there, she’d help her through it but she was gone.

There was silence around the girls dorm and she figured she’d pull out the old book would help her mood, but instead it just made her think of something else. Moments had passed as she seated on her bed as she noticed wet spot on one of the pages and she frowned, wiping her eyes. The fifth year had closed the book, pushing it back.

A breath had escaped her for a moment. Then another.
 

max walker

[max walker]

Max had been having a long day. Between classes and just not getting a great sleep last night. She was pretty done with things, but she didn't let that get her down. She was going to lay down and nap, sure, but she wasn't feeling too bad. Max strutted over to her bed and flopped down for a moment, eyes craning up at the pride flag she'd hung above her bed where a lot of the purebloods had placed their quidditch posters, and pictures of magical celebrities. She reflected for a moment that she wasn't surprised how many LGBTQ students were at the wizarding school, but that they were so open. At least two of the girls she shared this very dorm with weren't straight, even if Lucy Weasley was only just now coming out. It was pretty cool. Max was the sort of girl who knew who she was before she ever actually had an interest in dating. She'd come to the school knowing she was probably gay.

Max looked over from her bed, her eyes falling on Harlow. The other Hufflepuff girl had seemed off for a while now. Max was smart enough to figure out by changes in behaviour that something had happened to Harlow a couple of years ago. Even if it hadn't been mentioned. She didn't know what had been wrong but she could tell it was something. Recently she had seemed to go through something else again. Max sat up, legs dangling off the edge of the bed. She decided it would be best to take a chance, caring as she was.

"Hey, Harlow." She said gently. "You doing okay?" The other's breathing was noticable. When Max breathed that way she was trying to center herself, or to keep calm. Sometimes company helped with that. "I can go again if you want some alone time? Or we can talk if company helps?" She offered the other.

[harlow young]

Harlow had forgotten where she was at the very moment she heard Max’s voice, and she had immediately wiped at her face to hide the tears that threatened to spill. The Young’s had always been people to hide their true feelings and let their guard down whenever they’re with someone they trusted. Harlow hadn’t made much friends, and pretty much dropped them when her sister died because she felt her world had ended. Perhaps it had, and she would just keep falling in the pits of the depression and anxiety she had.

There was no hiding it that day because her hands had moved to grip onto her knees to avoid having them tremble. Her eyes were down as she tried to nod her head that she was indeed okay, but she wasn’t and it showed.

”No, I’m not.” she said through trembling breaths and closed her eyes to try to relax a bit. ”You don’t have to lea-leave.” she said and took another breath as she tried to ease her mind. It was Max’s dorm room too, she wasn’t going to kick her out.
 

max walker

[max walker]

"Hey..." Max said gently. "I know we're not really close but we've roomed together for five years now. If you need someone to talk to you can trust me." Max intoned gently. Max hated to see anyone suffer, and she was okay at comforting people, she hoped... Even if she was awful she felt she had to try. Hufflepuff House had been a second family to her, and she wouldn't have let her muggle sister feel this way, if she could help it. Max watched the other, trying to think what might have been on the crying girl's mind.

Max got up and crossed the room, she took a chance, hoping not to upset Harlow as she sat down beside the other Hufflepuff, and put a hand gently on her back. "What's going on? Is there anything I can do to help?" Max was serious. She had a good heart, and she wanted to help if she could. She genuinely believed that most members of her house would have done the same for her. Not that they'd needed to in the past. Max had been through some pain, she'd crushed on straight girls, she'd been rejected, but for the most part, her life was a pretty easy one.

"You don't have to hide how you feel. Cry if you need to." Max had slept in the same dorm as the other Hufflepuff girls her own age for years now. She was comfortable with them, and she didn't hide her feelings, unless it was something intensely private. She wanted her housemates to feel the same comfort.

[harlow young]

Harlow had a hard time trusting people lately, and it was because of her former best friend pretty much laughing at her face when she told her how she truly felt. Humiliated her in front of some males she was hanging with before she ditched her for the crowd Harlow despised and they hadn’t spoken since. A part of her knew she was better off without having her ex-best friend in her life. Max seemed like a person she can rely on, but she knew what happens if one opens up. Trust was something that needed and people broke their promises before.

The female hadn’t moved an inch when her classmate approached and she felt the hand on her back. It was comforting in a way; something she needed. She needed to be comfortable around people if she was going to survive a couple more years in this school.

”Crying shows weakness.” she said softly as she wiped her eyes again as they betrayed her once more. Her anxiety was fading, which was something she was thankful for. ”Can I really trust you? Last person I trusted just laughed and walked away. I have no one.” she admitted.

It was hard to admit it, but it was true.



max walker

[max walker]

Max patted the crying girl on the back again. "What do you have to lose by talking to me? We aren't close you won't lose a friend. The worst that can happen is we don't really talk again. " Max said honestly. She wasn't the type to spread rumours or to use whatever she was told against Harlow, so the idea didn't even occur to her. No. All she wanted to do in this situation was help her housemate. It was just in her nature to do so. "I promise you can trust me. cross my heart." She said, gently to the pureblood

"As for crying... It shows strength. Hiding your emotion means you're afraid to let people see that you feel it. Crying openly shows that you are who you are and you own what you feel." She said firmly. Max stood by those words, she still preferred not to cry, and would usually go away from others when she wasn't in a fit state for company, but she would never hide her hurt. The young Animagus wore her heart on her sleeve.

After a few moments of thinking, Max decided on a display of openness. A story from her own life. "Well... I've never hidden that I'm a lesbian... But my grandmother never figured it out until I was in my second year here. I was home for Christmas dinner when I told her, and she lost it. She told me I had ruined Christmas, and that I had no right to be 'proud of my sin' on Jesus' birthday. She's refused to speak to me since, and she keeps telling my parents to kick me out of home. They won't do it, but they also won't openly take my side either... Before I came out my grandma and I were were closer than anyone." The story didn't make her cry. she'd made peace with it. but she did tell it earnestly and honestly.

"So trust me because I've been there. I've had people walk out of my life."

[harlow young]

Before the twins had died, Harlow was a completely different person. The girl had held interest in her classmates, listened to them and gave them advice when she felt like it was needed. But when she came back from the summer holidays, she closed off and kept to herself. Only a few people knew about the deaths of the Young twins. They supported her and was there when she felt like she was going to have a breakdown. Harlow hated crying in front of other people, something most of the Young’s had. But in that very moment sitting next to her classmate and listening to her talk about the hardships she went through, made Harlow want to hug her but she decided against it.

All she did was keep her eyes on the sheets, her fingers playing with the fabric of her pants as she thought over what she could share. What did she have to lose? If Max decided to betray her trust and talk about the subject, she wouldn’t care because she was pretty much done with people. Her father had asked her if he needed to pull her out, but she wanted to have a life away from the family.

”Sorry to hear that.” she said after a few moments of debating on what she wanted to do. ”I’ve lost two important people two years ago. This book…” she nodded at the book she had been getting lost in. ”Belonged to my sister. Parents gave it to me after she died with her twin.” she frowned as she decided to put the book on the side table next to her bed. ”People always leave. My sisters.”
 

max walker 

[max walker]

Max listened to the girl. She'd never experienced a loss like that, but it explained a fair bit. Max had noticed a change in Harlow when it happened. She nodded as the other explained it. She leaned in and decided to do what Harlow hadn't. She hugged her housemate, tightly as she studied the book in question. "I'm so sorry to hear about your loss." She said quietly, emotion in her voice, Max was an emotional sponge in some ways. when she heard of things like this happening, she couldn't help but put herself in the shoes of the person. "What is it?" She asked about the book, in a low tone. Max didn't really know what to say to her, but she wanted to help.

"Just... If you ever neeed someone to talk to, I'm only in the next bed over." She said with a gentle grin. She pulled away, sitting beside the girl. "What happened the other day?" she said. she'd noticed that things hadn't been good for Harlow lately, not that it was easy.

As Max watched the other she took in her appearance, Harlow was a pretty girl, gorgeous really.  Max found herself staring into those teary eyes a little overlong. If she had known Harlow a little better, she might have been bold and wiped, or kissed those tears away, but instead she just sat, quietly realising just how pretty her housemate was, and how deeply she must have been hurt. She was seeing this girl with fresh eyes, as they discussed such an emotional topic.

[harlow young]

”A book on creatures in both the wizarding world and muggle world.” she answered as she eyed the book on the stand. Her sister was always the type to love all kinds of animals - cats, dogs, anything that she can get her hands on. It never really bothered the Young’s and Harlow could remember the times when she’d try to sneak an animal into the house without their parents noticing. They’ve been caught a few times but never got into trouble. Greg Young, her father, had a habit of favoring the twins and Harlow over others.

A sigh had escaped the girl as she wiped at her eyes, suddenly relaxed at the comfort. The Quidditch player found something in Max that she hadn’t seen before. The past five years they barely had a bonding moment like they had at this very moment.

”I..kinda fell for a straight girl. Best friend. Laughed at my face when I told her and we haven’t talked to each other sense.” she looked at her for a moment before down at her hands once more. ”Like I said, people always leave.” she bit her lip as she focused on her hands instead of looking at her.
 

max walker 

[max walker]

"That's really cool!" Max said enthusiastically. "I'd love to look through it some time if you'd let me... I have a bunch of creature books too, but none of them are as important to me as that one." She said gently. "I love animals though. I was so excited when I found out about animagi. You probably remember me just studying all night a few years ago." She said with a grin. "I pulled it off. I can turn into a horse." She hadn't admitted it. very often before. Not because she was ashamed of her form but rather because she didn't really want to encourage other people to pursue it. The consequences of animagus transformations gone wrong were terrible.

Now there was a feeling Max knew. she'd fallen for straight women before and she'd been treated cruelly for it. She remembered one particular Slytherin girl she'd adored, but who had shot her down, cruelly, and apparently told the rest of her house about it, Max had been mocked on and off for the rest of that school year. But she had already learned to be proud by that point, their words had been little more than an annoyance. Still, she knew what it must have been like to open up to someone and and lose them, to be rejected by them.

"Hey. I'm not going anywhere." She said, she laid back on the other's bed and indicated across the room to her pride flag. "That rainbow flag is a muggle symbol for gay pride." She told her. "Think about rainbows. They always come out after the worst storms, and they're beautiful and vibrant. People stare, but that's because they're seeing something special." She said gently. "And sometimes people don't know how to deal with that." Max was speaking philosophical nonsense, sure, but she had come to believe it. It was a coping mechanism.

"Right now you're caught in a storm, but you'll make it through."

[harlow young]

Harlow was impressed at how open her class and housemate was to her, but knew it was also something to help Harlow get more comfortable around her. To trust her. A Young never trusted easily, knowing damn well that people had used her own sister for their personal gang. Yes, her family had money but Harlow wasn’t one to make it known. For all the other students knew is that she was from a pureblood family with many secrets - with a dark past and that they mostly played Quidditch when they were at Hogwarts. They were known for their fist fights because Young’s didn’t play dirty with hexes. Harlow though, only punched one person in her life and that happened to be her sister.

”Of course you can. Just don’t stain the pages.” she said as she watched the girl lie back on her bed and for the first time that day, she smiled. No, not because there was a girl in her bed. It was because someone was there to lend an ear and listen to her troubles.

Her eyes looked at the female before her, nodding as she listened to her about the gay pride flag she had noticed a few times before. ”Guess I’ll see where that storm leads me. I haven’t even come out to my family at all. I mean, they probably know. They tend to know things before you do.” she forced a small laugh. ”Maybe the signs were there. Who knows…”

[max walker]

"Maybe the signs are there, but if they aren't... I have some advice on that, though. If you're going to come out to them - do it the night before you leave to go back to school. If they take it badly, it'll give them time to process, and if they take it well, it starts the school year off on a high note." She paused and thought for a moment. "To be honest, there's going to be some people you might lose. But think of it this way. People like your ex-friend were never really there for you to start with. The people that stick with you now are the ones you'll know you can trust with anything." Max was being completely honest as far as she understood things.

Slowly, she sat up again, putting an arm around Harlow, her eyes fixed on the other now. She just gave her a gentle, caring smile. "Is there anything I can do to help you?" She asked kindly. Max was a very caring person, and when she saw someone suffering. she would always do her best to help. That was just who she was. "I had an easy time coming out, but I've seen other people go through it and I've helped them... You could talk to Lucy too." She said referring to their other dorm mate. "She just came out too, you know?"

"It'll be okay. I promise." She said gently. "No matter how hard it gets you can do it." She had always gotten an impression of strength from her housemate, and knowing how much she had lost now, and managed to keep going, she was certain that Harlow could take on the world. She was also sure Harlow wouldn't have to be  miserable and lonely. If nothing else she wanted to be a part of the other girl's life. She hadn't really considered more than friendship, but she was starting to notice that Harlow was pretty gorgeous, honestly. - She pushed those thoughts out of her head. She wasn't willing to take advantage of a person whose heart was aching.

[harlow young]

”Actually, they will be okay with it. One of the twins were engaged with their girlfriend’s before she died. Parents were happy. Thought there would be a big gay wedding but both the twins were taken before any planning happened. And my another one of my sisters is living above The Three Broomsticks with her girlfriend.” she said with a nod and smiled a bit as she looked at her for a moment. Noticing how close they were physically. Harlow wasn’t going to complain though, she found it comforting and possibly needed it to keep her from freaking out.

”Nah, just you talking to me and listening actually helps me. Thank you for the ear though.” Harlow gave her a sweet smile, and bit her lip as she looked at her. Max’s caring nature had managed to keep her from being an emotional mess. Yes, Harlow was still feeling that sadness but it wasn’t there full on. At least she had a friend in her. It wasn’t that bad, right?

Perhaps it was something Harlow needed in the past few days, past two years. Someone to actually listen and not abandon her like she feared. She needed the outlet and Max was there to be that shoulder.

Harlow looked away after she noticed she was just staring at the other girl, making her quickly look down at her lap to avoid getting caught.

[max walker]

Max studied Harlow. She was glad to hear that the girl had gay siblings... That was definitely going to make everything easier for her. It actually made Max feel a moment of jealousy. She wanted this for herself, but her only muggle sibling, as far as she knew was straight. She loved her sister dearly and her orientation wouldn't have changed their relationship at all. but Max had to admit it would have been nice to have someone to share her feelings with. She grinned, though. "That's great. If your family supports you that'll make things so much easier." She hoped she was sounding encouraging.

When Harlow thanked her, Max just moved in a little closer. She eyed the other for a moment considering her. She had been glad to help, and lessen the other's pain. She knew that Harlow wasn't out o the woods just yet, though. she pat the other's shoulder gently. "You've always got that, if nothing else." She promised gently. "Always could have. I would love to help you if I can."

Max noticed the other's nervous glance. Was Harlow feeling what she was feeling? That long stare, the sudden aversion of her gaze. Max had looked at a few girls that way and she thought she knew what it meant. In a moment of impulse she lifted Harlow's chin, slowly and looked into her eyes for a moment. she gave a slight sigh, nervous of what she might do now but committed, leaning in and kissing her. Max didn't do things by half measures, it wasn't a little peck on the lips, it was long, intense, and after a few moments the uncertainty dissolved into eagerness. Though as she pulled away, she found herself blushing, brightly, looking down herself.

[harlow young]

There was a moment in the past few days that she had thought no one would even help through the stuff she had been put through. But then Max came along, helped ease her mind and saved her from her overthinking brain. Usually, she’d write about her feelings in her journal when no one’s looking - the very journal that was hidden under the mattress of the very bed the two were seated on. They were close, something Harlow had noticed before she had tried to look away after staring at her. Max was the second person she looked at the way she did, the second girl she found herself somewhat attached too. Perhaps it was because they had spent time talking. Maybe she was reading too much into it.

But maybe not because as soon as she felt her friend lift her chin, looking into her eyes, Harlow felt like her breath had been taken away - like all the air in the room had left her and she was about to say something before their lips had met. Was...was she kissing her? Was there something there? Or was Harlow’s brain going into overdrive because of the action her friend had taken. It took her several seconds to register in Harlow’s brain to take action of her own, returning the kiss, her eyes closing.

The moment Max pulled way, Harlow almost let out a whine but she opened her eyes and eyed her friend for a moment. Her mouth was open as she tried to find the words. The silence in the dorm was agonising - it bothered her. All she could hear was her own heart beating in her ears and she wanted to say something that made sense. Was she speechless? Yes. Totally. Her friend just kissed her!

Then she just smiled, rubbing the back of her neck and looked down at her lap. ”Um.”

Yep, Max Walker had broken Harlow Young.  

max walker